


Irrational

by tellmewhatisreal



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 19:20:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19836862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellmewhatisreal/pseuds/tellmewhatisreal
Summary: She'd had the coming out conversation with various people in her head approximately 87 times. Yet she had never mustered the courage to actually go through with it.





	Irrational

Being gay had never caused any internal struggle for Robin. Realizing the fact had been more of a _huh_ moment. In eighth grade she had taken notice of Linda, a ninth grader, who had only worn black and had braces, but had somehow made them seem cool. _I want to be like her,_ Robin had thought wistfully. At band camp she had crossed paths with Teresa, who played the guitar and had an impossibly radiant smile. And when that smile had been directed at Robin, a peculiar sensation of warmth had flooded through her. A few years later the existence of Tammy Thompson had entered her consciousness. She was nothing less than perfection. And she'd been the one who had made Robin finally reach her _huh_ moment: _I want to be with her._ Robin had always been quite a laid-back type of girl so it hadn't been an earth-shattering moment in her life. She had taken it all in stride.

That didn't mean it hadn't been a big deal, though. She'd become practically obsessed with all things Tammy and spent countless hours fantasizing about Steve Harrington simply disappearing off the face of the earth, never to be seen again. The rational side of her brain had known that Steve wasn't the sole obstacle in her tragic love story, but apparently love makes you act irrationally.

The rational side of her brain had also known she needed to keep all of it a secret, of course. She wasn't naive. People were ignorant, hateful or downright dangerous. Especially in Hawkins, Indiana, where standing out in any way seemed to be a punishable offence. She had quickly realized, though, that having an enormous secret also took an enormous toll. She'd had the coming out conversation with various people in her head approximately 87 times. Yet she had never mustered the courage to actually go through with it.

Obviously blurting it out in that questionable mall bathroom hadn't been how she had envisioned it happening. And she certainly hadn't planned on Steve Harrington being the first one to hear about it. But it turned out, Russian drugs also make you act irrationally.

She'd felt her stomach churn again as she had desperately tried to figure out how to simultaneously reject a boy and also tell him that she only loved girls. She had suddenly felt bad, even apologetic, for ruining the good thing they'd had going on. She hadn't even realized how much shame she had carried inside her until she'd heard herself say things like _I don't think he would even want to be her friend_.

_But Tammy Thompson's a girl._ The minute that it had taken Steve to grasp the implications of her words had quite possibly been the longest minute in her life. During that minute her drugged-up mind had caught up to whatever the hell she was doing and had subsequently given her very mixed signals, simultaneously screaming at her to _abort mission_ and to _keep going._ With an almost pleading look, she'd waited for him to respond. But as he'd stayed silent and avoided her gaze, she'd felt her heart sink. She had ruined it.

But then... absolutely nothing had happened. He hadn't gotten angry. He hadn't left in disgust. Instead, he'd joked. She'd joked back. Their banter had gone on as if she hadn't just revealed the most fragile side of herself. The unexpected levity of the situation had made her absolutely giddy. In her exhilarated state she had decided that Steve Harrington, her former archenemy, was the most precious human being to exist.

And here she was now. They had saved the world, Scoops Ahoy was long gone and she was working at a new place but with a familiar face. It turned out, even though both of them had pretended to hate everything at their previous job, they had, in fact, loved working with each other. Considering that they had also endured absolute hell together, in the form of terrifying Russians, a mind-flaying monster and all the nightmare customers at the ice cream parlor, they had decided that they'd better stick together at the next job as well, just to watch each other's backs. Their bathroom conversation was never really brought up again, apart from the occasional "do you think that girl's hot" inquiries Steve whispered to her as a joke when he hung out at work even though it wasn't his shift. And as Robin watched Steve spread bagel crumbs all over the counter at Family Video, she couldn't believe that he of all people had become her closest confidant. It was inexplicable, completely irrational and she loved it.


End file.
